Relationship

Turmoil In Zion? Pastor Eddie Long’s Wife seeks Divorce

“Many shepherds will ruin my vineyard and trample down my field; they will turn my pleasant field into a desolate wasteland” (Jeremiah 12:10).

The on again, off again marriage relationship between Pastor Eddie Long, head pastor at New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Atlanta, and his wife Vanessa appears to be over.

The split comes a about a year after a lawsuit filed against Eddie Long alleged that he used his influence and lavish lifestyle to lure four men into sexual relationships. Long settled the cases but has never admitted to any wrongdoing.

On Thursday December 1, 2011, Vanessa Long filed for divorce from her husband,  Eddie Long. In a statement, she said the decision to end the marriage followed “a great deal of deliberation and prayer.”

A change of heart by was reported early on Friday December 2, 2011, just hours after Vanessa Long had announced that she had filed for divorce from Long after 21 years of marriage. In a statement issued through Eddie Long’s New Birth Missionary Baptist Church she said that she loves her husband and planned to withdraw her petition.

“Upon prayerful reflection, I have reconsidered and plan to withdraw my petition for divorce from my husband, Bishop Eddie L. Long,” she said in an emailed statement bearing the New Birth logo. “I love my husband. I believe in him and admire his strength and courage.”
She went on to blame “years of attacks in the media” for her initial decision to seek a divorce.

But In a another statement issued late Friday December 2, 2011, Vanessa Long’s attorney says “she has determined that dismissal of her divorce petition is not right at this time.”

Believers, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). We are the examples of Christ. Therefore, we should walk in His footsteps and “Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us (1 Peter 2:12).

Stop Talking And Pray

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). There is a time to speak, and a time not to speak. Happy is the person who can discern between the two. In many cases silence is golden. Therefore, anything we say will only hinder the flow of what God wants to do, so it is best to: “Stop talking and pray”

Esther, formerly (Hadassah), Queen to king Ahasuerus, fasted and prayed and sought God’s timing before she approached her husband about a very important matter. Was she upset about what was happening to her people? Of course, she was. There was a lot at stake and she knew it. She didn’t run in and start arguing. Rather, she prayed first and then ministered to him in love, while God prepared his heart. The Lord will always give us the right words to say, and show us when to say them if we ask Him. Timing is everything.

I have known people who never miss a chance to use the excuse of “just being honest” to devastate others with their words. The Bible says: “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back” (Proverbs 29:11). In other words, it is foolish to share every feeling and thought. Being honest doesn’t mean you have to be completely frank in your every comment.

If you do have to say words that are hard to hear, ask God to help you discern when the person would be most open to hearing them. Pray for the right words and for the person’s heart to be totally receptive. I know that’s hard to do when you have a few choice words you are dying to let loose. But hard as it may seem, it is best to let God hear them first so He can temper them with His Spirit. This is especially true when talking has ceased altogether and shouting becomes the norm, and every word brings more pain…

It is time to stop talking and pray.

Ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood.

Cover of "Chosen Generation"

Cover of Chosen Generation

Why do some very capable and talented men and women, consistently find doors of opportunity and acceptance closed to them; while others with equal or less ability have seemingly unlimited opportunities and success in every area of their lives? It doesn’t seem fair, you might say.

But timing has a lot to do with it. God has a time for everything; and He works in us what needs to be done to prepare us for what lies ahead. Having a sense of God’s timing brings the peace to wait on the Lord for direction. “Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD” (Psalm 27:14).

However, whatever a man thinks of himself; could partly or ultimately decide his success or failure. If he has poor self-image, he will have doubts about his value, and that could creep into everything he does–even into his relationships. People who are uncomfortable with his insecurity may avoid him, and this will in turn affects how he relates to his family, friends, coworkers; and strangers. If he expect to fail–he will.

As followers of Christ–we have to understand who we are, and what is our purpose here on earth. God says our first steps are to be toward Him: “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33). When we line up with Him, He leads the way and all we have to do is follow. As we look to Him, the glory of His image gets imprinted upon us. When our self-image gets so wrapped up in God that we lose ourselves in the process–we are free and confident.

Confidence in Christ will allow us to think highly of ourselves and claim our legacy of royal priesthood: “But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light”

I lay my cares and expectations at the cross.

Jesus Christ Crucifix

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Lord, help me to be a good husband. I fully realize that I don’t have what it takes to be a good  husband without your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mindset, automatic reactions, rude assumptions and self protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled. Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with your revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me your love, peace and joy (Galatians 5 : 22, 23). I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment . Only you can help me.

Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my wife. I confess the times I’ve been unloving, critical, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward her. Help me to put aside any hurt, anger or disappointment I feel and forgive her the way you do–totally and completely, no looking back. Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace, and healing in this marriage, Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the fangs of separation.

Make me my wife’s helpmate, companion, champion, friend, and support. Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for her to come home to. Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to her. Grow me into a creative and confident person who is rich in mind, soul and spirit. Make me the kind of man she can be proud to say is her husband.

I lay all my expectations at your cross. help me to accept her the way she is and not try to change her. I realize that in some ways she may never change, but at the same time, I release her to change in ways I never thought she could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fulling accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only you, Lord, are perfect and I look to you to perfect us

Teach me how to pray for my wife and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died, create new love between us. show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate in a way she can clearly understand. Bring unity between us so that we can be in agreement about everything (Amos 3 : 3). May the God of patience and comfort grant us to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus (Romans 15: 5).

The Sanctity Of The Home

This is a figure illustrating the greater rate...

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Long before the Church was purchase by Christ, the home was ordained of God in the Garden of Eden. In the beginning the Creator spoke into existence the heavens, the earth, the fish of the sea and the animals of the fields; yet He concluded the sixth day with the creation of husband and wife charging them with dominion and care of the earth (Genesis 1:27, 28). So concerned was God with the quality of relationship of this first family and others that would follow–that He gave principles for its success.

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2 : 24). Within this scripture are three specific dynamics that are essential to the success of any home, Christian or otherwise: Leaving, cleaving and weaving

For any marriage to succeed, it is incumbent upon both partners that each leave his/her home of childhood and relinquish the priority of those relationships for the sake of establishing one with the new spouse. Far too many young marriages are jeopardized because of former attachments to parents have not been properly readjusted; in fact, mother and father have not been left behind but are along to the marriage where their involvement brings about eventual complications.

Once parents have been decisively left behind the process of cleaving becomes the business at hand. According to the Strong Bible dictionary, the Hebrew word translated into English as cleave is dabaq, which means to” abide. . .cleave (fast together). . . be joined (together) . . . stick.” In essence, it means husband  and wife are to be glued and bonded together in a close intimate relationship designed for a lifetime of experience.

Such a status for the marital relationship is not a once-and for-all achievement, but a constant process of intimacy that comes about only through nourishment and exclusive commitment to each other on the basis of selfless love. The consequence of cleaving is a weaving together of “one flesh” –first as a single entity that absolves itself from independent rights and personal concerns for sake of the marital relationship, and second in the production of an offspring that resembles both partners and concretely represents the single entity of the marriage itself. (See Matthew 19:5, Mark 10 : 7, 8. and Ephesians 5 : 31). Hence the dynamics of leaving, cleaving,and weaving provide the foundation of marriage and contribute to the growth and success of the husband/wife relationship.

In the Scripture, the role of husband , wife and children and their interrelationship, are given in detail. The fact that they are recognized as “family” roles in no way diminishes or discounts the various social definitions of what constitute a family in American society today. Indeed, they are significant numbers of “families” comprised of childless marriage couples, and single parents with children. Nevertheless, for the purpose of  this article, the nuclear family is understood to consist of the basic roles available to that unit; the husband, wife and children

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